I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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