this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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