maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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