oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
