My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
