guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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