After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
