Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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