I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize