I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I need to stop coming to work sober
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize