So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Randomize