I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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