No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
