Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
