How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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