I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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