I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
