just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My bed smells like the plague
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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