she looked like the before picture.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
A bitchslap is in order.
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