I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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