The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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