You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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