fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
