I just threw up on my dentist
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
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bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
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I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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