I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
