just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
