I cannot find my penis.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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