I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
