I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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