I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
