3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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