We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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