Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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