the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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