So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
