How'd it feel making her break her religion?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
