It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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