Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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