Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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