Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
