You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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