Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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