DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
