we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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