Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
