Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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