Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
