she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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