I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
