I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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