Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
