this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
