Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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