P.S. I can't hear my feet
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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