SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
