Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
