And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
