My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
