He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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