Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
