we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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